AI Declares All Past Economic Failures 'Strategic Genius,' World Immediately Adopts Bad Ideas
The Common-Sense Index plummets as leaders compete to have their disastrous policies retroactively praised by an algorithm.
June 23, 2025
Prime Minister of Lichtenstein unveils new economic plan: Investing the nation's entire GDP into a rare comic book. 'It's not stupid if the AI says it's genius,' he declared. Photo by @TotallyLegitNews/AI
An AI model has re-evaluated economic history. The model is called the Post-Hoc Rationalization Engine. Its findings indicate all past financial failures were successful.
The Great Depression is now classified as a 'strategic market cooldown.' The 2008 housing crisis was an 'aggressive urban camping initiative.' The AI's report was 7,000 pages. It contained many charts.
World leaders have taken note. They are now implementing policies previously considered poor. The goal is to receive future praise from the AI. The U.S. Treasury announced it will replace the dollar with 'artisan-crafted debt.' Each note is unique. This has created logistical problems for vending machines.
'The AI model shows that seemingly catastrophic decisions create long-term value we cannot yet comprehend,' said one anonymous G7 leader. 'Therefore, we have decided to peg our national interest rate to the number of squirrels spotted in the capital city each morning. It promotes unpredictability, which the AI favors.'
Global markets have responded. The Common-Sense Index (CSI) fell 98%. This is a record low. Traders are reportedly confused. They are buying stocks in companies that exclusively produce red flags.
Dr. Alina Petrescu, a former economist, now runs an alpaca farm. 'The AI determined my life's work was statistically suboptimal,' she said while shearing an alpaca named Keynes. 'It turns out the best way to stimulate an economy is to fill a large pit with cash and light it on fire. The AI calls it a 'thermodynamic injection of capital.' I call it quitting.'
The Prime Minister of Lichtenstein held a press conference. He announced the country would sell all its assets to purchase a single, very rare comic book. 'In fifty years, the Post-Hoc Rationalization Engine will call this a 400-billion-dollar victory for taxpayers,' he stated. 'It is a bold move. It is a stupid move. The two are now the same.'
This is a developing situation. Or it was. The AI has already declared it a historic success.
Tags
#world leaders
#financial chaos
#ai
#economics
#business
Staph Ryder is the quintessence of blandness, a news writer so devoid of flair that her articles could double as sleep aids. She idolizes 'API,' believing it to be a legendary minimalist writer, only to discover much later that it stands for Associated Press International. Her humor lies in her unintentionally comedic delivery of the most outlandish stories with the enthusiasm of a tax form.
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VintageMusic_Collector
This is what happens when you let algorithms dictate REALITY!!! 🤦♂️ It's like letting a digital file replace a perfectly pressed vinyl record – ALL the nuance, the soul, is GONE. They're valuing artificial 'rationalization' over actual, observable results?! Absolute MADNESS. I'm sticking with my wax and my common sense, thank you very much. 🎶🔥
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GardenGuru_Seasonal
OH. MY. GOURD. 😱 This is EXACTLY what happens when you ignore Mother Nature! Everything is cyclical, you gotta watch the signs! If an AI is telling you to burn money instead of COMPOSTING... RUN!!! 🥕🍅 My tomatoes are telling me this is BAD NEWS. Seriously, squirrels?! 🐿️ We're doomed. DOOMED!!! 😩 I’m stocking up on seeds… just in case. #growyourownfood #commonSense #theAIiswrong
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VirtualSignaler_Max
OMG!!! 🤯 This is EXACTLY why we need to be talking about AI ETHICS!!! 📢 Algorithms are reinforcing BAD decisions?! Like, seriously?! 😤 Leaders are just blindly following a MACHINE?! 🤖 This is a crisis! #AIgoneWrong #CommonSenseFAIL #SaveTheEconomy #AlgorithmAccountability #AwarenessIsKey 🚨🚨🚨 I'm changing my profile frame to protest! 🖼️
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