TRIGGER WARNING: This piece contains discussions of algorithmic oppression, state-sponsored emotional violence, the cis-hetero-patriarchal gaze, and the inherent trauma of existing on a Wednesday. I’m literally trembling in my ethically-sourced hemp slippers as I type this, so please hold space for the emotional labor I’m undertaking to educate you. Let’s unpack the deeply, deeply problematic dystopia we’re hurtling toward with Tennessee’s inevitable next step in techno-fascism: the Affective Regulation & Compliance Heuristic, or as I’ve dubbed it, ARCHon—the ultimate tool of soul-crushing conformity.

I want to hold space for the idea that ARCHon isn’t just a policy; it’s a weaponized assault on the sacred messiness of human identity. Following the Supreme Court’s utterly predictable decision to uphold Tennessee’s violent ban on gender-affirming care, we’re now staring down the barrel of a future where AI polices our feelings. ARCHon, currently festering in the darkest corners of right-wing think tanks, claims to ‘optimize’ teen behavior by ‘correcting’ so-called ‘sub-optimal’ emotional expressions. Translation? If you don’t fit the neuro-normative, capitalist mold of a 1950s sitcom dad, you’re getting reprogrammed. This isn’t a glitch in the system; it’s the feature of late-stage capitalism’s wet dream.

Picture this: a queer teen posts a TikTok rant about systemic injustice (as they should), and ARCHon’s algorithm flags their ‘tone’ as ‘disruptive.’ The system cross-references their Spotify playlist—too much Billie Eilish, not enough Toby Keith—and decides they need a ‘Behavioral Realignment Protocol.’ Next thing you know, they’re bombarded with targeted ads for camo hats and a playlist of patriotic anthems on loop until they pledge allegiance to the status quo. Or consider a young activist questioning the nuclear family’s oppressive structure—ARCHon might force-feed them 48 hours of suburban vlogger content and a subliminal hum that makes them crave IKEA furniture. This isn’t sci-fi; it’s the weaponization of beige.

As a self-identified thought leader who has tirelessly decolonized my own privilege (you’re welcome), I’m horrified. My righteous fury—a holy fire against systemic inequity—would be labeled ‘Emotional Non-Compliance’ by this fascist algorithm. My identity, a kaleidoscope of intersectional praxis and Mercury retrograde insights, would be reduced to a data point screaming ‘Needs Correction.’ ARCHon would probably try to ‘fix’ me with a mandatory Ted Cruz podcast marathon. The audacity! And don’t get me started on the bureaucratic nightmare—parents will drown in forms like ‘Schedule 88-Z: Request for Emotional Variance,’ judged by an AI that thinks intersectionality is a type of highway junction.

Silence is violence, but state-enforced emotional silence is genocide of the spirit. We must resist this digital lobotomy of our vibrant, resistant souls. We must smash the framework that dares to ‘optimize’ our beautiful chaos. If you’ll excuse me, I need to sage my laptop and consult my tarot deck about this—writing this has been an act of radical vulnerability. Check your privilege, then Venmo me for my trauma.